I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
