It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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