Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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