btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
