I love having hate sex.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
