So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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