glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
