i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
