he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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