: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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