The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
