apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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