My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
