Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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