Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
