Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
