The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize