If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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