If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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