i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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