I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
