And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
