well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize