all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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