i don't like sucking hair
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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