return my video game
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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