so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
