i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
