u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
