I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
