i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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