I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
