talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
