You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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