he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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