Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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