Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
