spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
