were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize