i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My breasts were aching with rage.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
