upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
