I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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