i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
