I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
