so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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