He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
