Already got asked if we're dating
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
