I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He has the fingertips of a God
send nudes
from the living room?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
