Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
