Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
