i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
