This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
