Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
