Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
