so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
