I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize