Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
