no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
