She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
