Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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