Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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