I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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