I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
