I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
